We had our first ultrasound yesterday. I should have known when the nurses got quiet and asked for the doctor to come in. There were two shapes on the screen, one much smaller than the other. The larger one they could not get to come in clearly, apparently because it's so high up in my uterus. A few times they identified what they thought was the fetal pole, but because it wasn't clear they weren't 100% sure. Not even the doctor could get it. With no positive ID on a fetal pole, they certainly weren't going to get a definitive flutter ("pulsation") for a heartbeat. I could feel my heart sinking as they kept moving the wand around (which was actually quite uncomfortable).
The fact that we had twins and we are losing one most likely is very upsetting. Since we only had one beta, and it was very high, I assumed the doctors knew everything would be just fine. I should have been more proactive and asked for another beta to make sure the numbers were doubling I suppose. I asked the doctor yesterday flat out if the smaller one had a chance. He said most likely no, because a fetal pole wasn't even visible. This means it could be a blighted ovum which is an even bigger problem since the body's tendency is to miscarry those naturally. If the other baby is ok, I don't want to worry about something happening to that one while we lose the other one.
One of the women I have met on the forum I belong to commented that one of her two twins implanted a lot later than the first one, hence the big size difference and it eventually caught up. That did make me feel a little better but I couldn't help being so disappointed.
We go back on Wednesday to try again. This time, we'll hopefully get some definitive answers. Hopefully we'll get a nice strong heartbeat from our growing baby, and maybe just maybe we'll see a fetal pole for the smaller one. I refuse to give up on #6 or #11 at this point!!!
God is great; I remain optimistic.
