It's hard to believe we started "trying" two years ago. Looking around at the sheer number of women that are pregnant that we know, you'd swear it's as easy as looking at each other cross-eyed! Not the case with us. I'm able to look back and laugh a little at what craziness we endured too, especially at first. We were trying to chart my body temperature, then we were trying to determine what days were best for, well, trying, and we even went so far as to buy the ovulation predictor strips! We carted those things around Italy in 2009 and tried to account for the time change to try to get them to work. We thought for sure we might have a little bambino after that trip, but alas, no baby.
When finally got down to business and realized we had some serious issues, I was glad that I took matters into my own hands and dumped the crappy doctor's office that insisted I had to try for a year before they would see me. I knew we had some real problems but they refused to even have me come in for an evaluation. Thankfully, with the money per hour the Reproductive Endocrinologist commands, she took me very seriously and ordered a battery of tests to see what exactly the problem was.
I'll spare everyone the details, but the bottom line was undiagnosed medical problems in my teens meant that In Vitro Fertilization was the only way we'd ever get pregnant, and that was assuming that would even work. Fast forward several months to a new RE in Flint. After weighing the options, the financial consideration (thank you Michigan for NO mandate on fertility treatment insurance coverage!), and the mental preparation, we began treatment in April of 2010. I have never stuck myself with so many needles, nor taken so much medication in my entire life. It's not for the faint of heart! Our egg retrieval was on Memorial Day, and I was convinced that was a bad idea because it was a holiday and people surely would rather be home having a cookout with family, right? Our egg transfer was Curwood Saturday, which was interesting, because I have never missed the Heritage Parade in my entire life, and Jason was a saint to park at Tim Horton's when we arrived into town so that I could watch the parade from a lying down position. We were excited to find out two weeks later that yes, we were pregnant, and most likely with twins! Hallelujah! Our prayers were answered!
Several weeks later at our first ultrasound, it was clear things weren't so great. Baby A was larger than Baby B, but neither one looked like it should for that point in development. The next week we had another ultrasound, and it was clear Baby B was definitely not growing. Baby A was still growing somewhat, but no heartbeat was detectable. The final ultrasound showed no heartbeat again, and I was pulled from all meds in anticipation of miscarrying. Miscarriage is the worst thing I have ever lived through besides the death of a loved one. The physical pain is absolutely awful and the mental anguish is felt for months after the fact. Jason definitely got over it a lot faster, adding to my sadness and feelings of loneliness.
Fortunately, we had several embryos still frozen, and we knew we would keep trying frozen transfers (FET) until we were out of options. At my fall consult, my RE wanted to get started with FET preparation in October but Jason and I had already made a decision to take our lives back and go on vacation. We spent the better part of six full months revolving our lives around infertility and treatment and we were done. We used frequent flier miles and got a steal on a balcony room on a Caribbean cruise on Princess. We left on Halloween, and had the time of our lives that week. We didn't worry about a thing (except Hurricane Tomas!) and just enjoyed being married once again. It was wonderful!
Upon our return home, we got started on preparation for FET. I responded well, and our transfer was the day before Thanksgiving. Something about me and holidays... Anyway, we transferred three because that's how many survived the thawing process (three did not make it). We knew God would give us what we could handle, be it 3, 2, 1, or 0 babies. Several days before that though, my grandfather passed away, so it was a really sad time for us overall. It's hard to remain stress free when you have that type of sadness in your family. After transfer, we counted down the days to my bloodtest but it turned out Jason was in Texas that day! It is a great story when we can say to our child, "the day I found out I was pregnant for you, your father was in Dallas!"
Unfortunately, more sadness struck when my Grandma died early on Christmas day. I was extremely close to her and I still can't believe she is gone. She never got to know that we're expecting, but I have faith that she is up in heaven, protecting me and this baby of ours.
Since then, we've had several fantastic ultrasounds that are out of this world amazing. To see the baby wiggling around, to hear that thundering, constant heartbeat is simply awesome. I get to see my RE's office one last time for a final ultrasound, and then they are kicking me out (releasing me) to a "normal" OB here near our house. We have chosen an Ingham affiliated doctor since I've had so many problems with Sparrow and their labs in the past. I know we will be glad we made that decision.
We are so excited about this pregnancy and we can't wait until we hit the 13 week mark so we can start sharing the news with at least a few friends and family members. I am officially 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. Lovely side effects include nausea, extreme tiredness, loss of appetite, sensitivity to food smells and frequent urination. The joys of being pregnant! And I wouldn't trade it for the world. God is great!
