Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Day One - July 2

Today is my first official day of unemployment.  And I couldn't be happier!  Normally, at 36 years old, the phrase "I live in my mom's basement and I'm unemployed" means you've hit absolute rock bottom in life.  But by the grace of God, not for me!  In fact, I am beyond blessed and my life could not be better right now. 

As we all know, you do have to have a low point to truly appreciate the highest of highs, and the beginning of the year was the lowest I've been in a long time.  My marriage felt more like a roommates situation, my job was absolutely miserable every day, I hated where we lived, and I felt very alone in the world.  I cried A LOT and knew the only one that could start making positive changes was me.  For Lent I went to daily Mass as often as I could; my goal was to surrender all of this grief to God.  It helped tremendously and also gave me the break I needed from work several times a week.  I felt like the weight of my own cross got lighter as we got closer to Easter. I also tried to focus more on being a better wife and a better mother, both things I had been neglecting.  J and I had THE TALK finally, and decided we were much better off in East Lansing.  We knew in our hearts that H needed to attend STA, and he would do much better in a private school setting with a focus on our faith.  We put the house up for sale, and by nothing shy of a miracle, had a full price offer within 24 hours, followed by a bidding war over the following weekend.  For the first time in a long time we made money on real estate!

We signed on with a local builder after realizing the real estate market was very favorable to sellers but the opposite to buyers!  At our age, we knew what we wanted and knew building was the way to get it.  We had some requirements (three car garage, ranch, open floor plan) and some nice to haves (I surprised J with a covered deck, one of our favorite features of our now-sold home).  We've run into some issues with the build but we're on our way now. 

We've been Basement Dwellers since May 19 which most people are horrified when I tell them we moved BACK IN with my parents considering we lived here, in their basement, for four months last year (that's right, from Feb. to June of 2015 we were in the same accommodations) so this really is our second go-round as official Basement Dwellers.  I do not plan on becoming an expert at basement life but I was certainly more prepared this time around (ie we have ALL totes with us with clothing, textiles, etc. so that I'm not digging through the storage unit when I realize I don't have something I need). 

Now for the Unemployed part...
My former company (if I had a dollar for every time the president at my old job said that, I would literally be retired) was where I spent the first half of my career.  I started there at 22 years old, and had spent the past 13 years there, slowly working my way up through the ranks.  I am a good adjusters, and I'm even better at customer service and treating people the way they should expect and deserve to be treated.  I'm not perfect but I had an ability to make the company look good often.  The president had a real issue with assertive women; I was one of several that became targets for his own insecurities when the company was bought out by a big insurance group from a different state.  He was no longer in charge, and he couldn't stand it.  He tried to control everyone and everything he could including me and that just doesn't work for me.  For the past four months, my life became a living hell at work, to the point that I was constantly stressed, not eating, being a horribly impatient and short with people, and worst of all, not being the mom I strive to be with H.  I owed it to my family, my kid, and myself to make a change here as well, because it became very clear my career was over with this company anyway. 

A couple of weeks ago we hit the pinnacle (or rock bottom technically) when I was essentially demoted and told I would receive no more raises.  When I asked whom this applied to, I was told just to my position.  I also broke down emotionally which I had prided myself on NOT doing up until that point.  Without getting into the details, I almost walked out on the spot, but couldn't in good faith do that to my people that reported to me daily.  That was a Thursday, and on Friday I worked from home, knowing full well I couldn't be in that building another day under that kind of pressure.  Through nothing shy of a miracle, a company I had been having casual conversations with over the past two years contacted me with an opening and asked if I was interested just a week prior.  Of course I jumped at the chance to interview again (they had offered me a job in the past, which I stupidly turned down) and that Friday afternoon they called with an offer.

Was I looking for a new job? Not actively.  Did I intend to be a lifer at my company?  I did.  I had stuck it out so far and ridden the waves of some of the most tumultuous times in the company thus far.  But I truly believe in everything happens for a reason and timing is everything; I also believe that I had been praying so hard for direction that this offer was an answer to my prayers.  I knew the toughest part would be saying goodbye to people who were not coworkers, but who instead had become family.  Our department is awesome and there are a whole lot of great people that work there.  One bad apple shouldn't spoil the bushel but unfortunately when that bad apple is at the top and you have no buffer, that's exactly what happens.  I take solace in knowing I will be working from home, and I'll be nine minutes away once our house is built (another indication I planned to work there, I am building a house that close to the home office!!).  I will be able to keep in touch and see my friends from the office for lunch which helps.  I do hope and pray for all of them that they are able to weather the storm there.  Ironic insurance pun intended.

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